Sex Therapy in Los Angeles, CA
Sexuality is an important part of our humanity. People often experience challenges in this most vulnerable part of their lives. Although it can be difficult to talk about, sex therapy is ideally positioned to help with this. Most sexual problems are simply manifestations of other issues that show up in the bedroom, such as:
Difficulty being present or focusing on yourself
Difficulty communicating
Overcoming shame or internalized oppression
Sex Therapy Embraces Natural Desire
Sex education in our culture tends to be negative and too focused on problems. It does not include education on:
Healthy relationships
Sexual functioning
Consent
Pleasure
How to talk about sex with a partner
Struggling with sexuality is common. Women, in particular, are often under so much pressure to be ‘sexually desirable,’ while actual female desire is criticized or considered an afterthought. And there is little to no information or representation of queer sexuality.
As a sexual health psychologist, I use effective, compassionate strategies applied to your sexual concerns. This never includes touch and must always align with your personal values. Everyone deserves pleasurable, affirming, intimate sexual experiences.
IMPORTANT NOTE: It is not for me to decide who you should be intimate with, or how. Sexual interests are as diverse as people. I do not judge. If it is consensual between adults and aligned with your values, I support it.
Sex Therapy for Sexual Desire & Libido
Low sexual desire (also referred to as low libido or sex drive) is one of the most common issues for which people seek sex therapy. Whether a lifelong issue or only something more recent, an intimacy therapist can help you identify and address this obstacle.
Our brains have two systems that regulate sex drive:
The Gas Pedal: responsible for arousal and desire
The Brakes: responsible for inhibiting arousal, when the body thinks it’s not a good time or safe to be prioritizing sexual activity
For most, the problem isn’t the gas pedal (arousal). It’s that too many things are stepping on the brakes! Several factors can contribute to that, including:
Medication
Hormones
Depression
Anxiety
A lack of time or privacy
However, these are solvable problems with the help of sex counseling! Together we can work out ways to ease off on those over-active brakes causing you difficulty.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you have a low sex drive and that’s okay with you, that is not a problem.
Orgasm
Did you know?
Over 80% do not experience orgasm from penetration alone.
Women are more likely to struggle with orgasm with a male partner than with other genders and almost ⅔ of women say they have faked an orgasm before. Yet, most women don’t realize how normal this all is. You certainly wouldn’t know it from media representations of female pleasure.
There are many possible barriers to orgasm:
Medication
Depression and anxiety
Shame
Lack of knowledge
Difficulty focusing on your own pleasure
These are treatable problems with the help of a Los Angeles sexual health psychologist! Together we can work to figure them out. Sex therapy strategies will help you to access orgasm and increase connected pleasure. It can also help you connect with pleasure outside of orgasm, as an orgasm is not required to feel pleasure and intimacy with your partner.
Sex Therapy & Body Image
If you feel shame about your body in your day-to-day life, chances are that this is showing up in the bedroom. Intimacy is vulnerable, and your partner can see and feel that in you.
Do you find yourself…
Avoiding sex?
Avoiding certain activities or particular positions because of how you feel about your body?
Rejecting compliments or advances from your partner?
Needing the lights to be off?
Being distracted by thoughts about your body looks?
Moving your partner’s hands away from the body parts you feel self-conscious about?
Some women may also have had negative experiences with partners who criticized their bodies. This is abusive. All bodies are good bodies and you are deserving of sexual pleasure and connection in your body as it exists now, regardless of shape, size, or disability status.
Sex After Trauma
At its core, trauma is a boundary violation. It makes tolerating vulnerability hard for trauma survivors. It can feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and what is more vulnerable than sexuality?
Trauma can:
Cause anxiety or depression that inhibits connection and pleasure
Make you feel disgusted and shame about your body or even sex itself
Make relaxation and mindfulness difficult (two essential ingredients to a good sex life)
Trigger discomfort simply because of being vulnerable with someone or because memories of trauma surface during intimacy
It’s not uncommon to engage in sexual behavior that comes not from a place of empowered choice, but from wanting to feel in control. Often, trauma lies to you that this is the only way you can find value with a partner.
You might avoid sex entirely or just go through the motions. You may feel compulsive when it comes to sex, engaging in behavior that isn’t aligned with your values. If you have experienced sexual trauma, then sex itself can trigger a negative reaction. If you experienced sexual abuse as a child, sex may become tangled into unhealthy relationship patterns. All of this is normal, but upsetting when the past interferes with the present, especially when it is with someone you love.
Addressing sexuality after trauma is important for recovering your sexuality in a healthy and pleasurable way. It also helps your recovery from trauma in general. Most therapists are trauma specialists or intimacy therapists, but I love being both. I value helping clients reclaim their sexual selves from trauma and access safe, healthy pleasure for themselves.
Sex Therapy for Your Sexual Identity
It can be challenging to explore who you are in a world that presents limited ideas about what is acceptable or possible.
Trauma, shame, and oppression come in many forms:
Transphobia
Sexism
Heterosexism
Ableism
Racism
Anti-fat bias
All of these can negatively impact the full expression of your sexual identity, especially during your formative years as a child and teen. It may have been unsafe for you to do so, or perhaps you just “got along to get along” and avoided exploring your sexuality. However, you are a unique sexual being. It is never too late to discover who you are and how to best live authentically. I offer an affirming, safe space to explore sensitive questions about your identity.
Kink & Consensual Non-Monogamy Aware
At my Manhattan Beach, CA-based counseling practice, you will be accepted as you are. I am here to support your goals, whatever they may be, in all consensual activity between adults. I have found that sexual interests are as diverse as people themselves. You are the expert of your sexual self; I just want to help you have healthy, satisfying relationships that are aligned with your values.
It can be difficult to explore sexuality and relationships when there is so much stigma out there. I provide an affirming, non-judgmental, and supportive space to help you work toward your goals.
Ready to Start Sex Therapy in Los Angeles, CA?
Well Woman Psychology is here to support you in having a happy and healthy sex life. While I am based near Los Angeles, CA I can provide support through online therapy to anyone in California, Illinois, New York, and Washington. One of the benefits of being a sexual health psychologist and trauma therapist is that I can help you heal past trauma, shame, and oppression while teaching you to embrace your sexuality. I strive to provide supportive sex therapy that is judgment free; no matter your race, identity, size, kinks, relationship status, or anything else. In order to start sex counseling follow these simple steps:
Reach out for a free consultation at Well Woman Psychology.
Schedule your first appointment with an intimacy therapist.
Start embracing yourself and your right to sexual pleasure.
Other Services I Offer in California & Virginia
At my Manhattan Beach, CA-based therapy practice I am dedicated to supporting women in California, Washington, and Illinois via online therapy. I provide therapy for body image issues, individual relationship therapy, trauma therapy, and PTSD treatment. As a therapist for women, I also provide EMDR therapy and services to support women’s health such as counseling for miscarriage, infertility, pregnancy, and new moms. I look forward to connecting with you and helping your life a healthy and happy life.