How to Change Your Behaviors to Improve Your Body Image
TLDR: Our behavior has a powerful impact on body image, for better or for worse. The things we choose to do when we are feeling shame or anxiety about our bodies can either help or hurt in the long term. Learn what behaviors help and hurt your body image from a body image therapist in Los Angeles.
As I discussed in “How You Might Be Unintentionally Making Your Body Image Worse,” the things we do to cope with body shame and anxiety have the powerful ability to reinforce a poor body image, AKA make it worse, even when the goal is to feel better. But the good news is, once you understand how reinforcement works and what behaviors reinforce a bad body image, you can swap them out for behaviors that reinforce a better body image.
This powerful effect happens in two ways:
By simply doing less of the behaviors that make a bad body image worse, you are taking away some of the fuel for body shame and anxiety, which will reduce the intensity of these feelings
By adding behaviors that reinforce a more accepting relationship with your body, you can actually improve your body image and reduce shame and anxiety further
How can I change my behavior to support a better relationship with my body?
As mentioned above, there are two changes you can make to build a more peaceful relationship with your body.
You can reduce or eliminate behaviors that unintentionally reinforce body shame and anxiety.
And…
You can add behaviors that support a more accepting relationship with your body.
What behaviors make a poor body image worse?
Any behavior that sends the message to yourself that your body is bad, wrong, needs fixing, shouldn’t be shown, etc., is one that is going to make your body image stay stuck in a bad place or get worse.
Examples include:
Avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror
Only having sex in the dark
Covering yourself up in a swimsuit because you feel self-conscious (different than doing it for sun protection)
Avoiding activities that involve swimsuits altogether
Avoiding photos, “sucking it in,” poking your chin out to avoid a double chin, or hiding in photos
Wearing all black or loose clothing
Keeping yourself more covered than you would if you liked your body (covering for religious reasons, sun protection, or personal preference is different)
Not letting your partner see your body
Exercising to alter your bodily appearance
Restricting food intake (either amount or types of food) to alter your appearance or weight (different than avoiding foods you are allergic to)
Keeping too small clothes in your closet as in the hopes you fit in to them again
Avoiding buying new clothing in your current size
Weighing yourself
Using shapewear or other tricks to make your body appear more “flattering” (which is always code for thinner and therefore more attractive)
Outright avoidance of dating, sex, shopping, being in public, being seen in a swimsuit, traveling, etc.. until you lose weight
What are behaviors that help body image?
In the same way that behaviors that send yourself the message that your body is bad/wrong and needs fixing make a poor body image worse, behaviors that send yourself the message that your body is okay as is, can help you learn to accept your body with time and lots of repetition.
Examples include:
Wearing whatever swimsuit you want
Allowing yourself to be in photos, even if you’re uncomfortable
Eating and moving intuitively
Getting clothing you like that fits the body you have now (this becomes harder to access for folks on the higher end of the size spectrum but the problem is antifat bias in the fashion/business world, not your body)
Letting your partner touch and see you, even if you would prefer that your body was different
Doing the thing (taking the trip, dating, swimming, etc.) as you are right now instead of waiting until your body is different
Actually looking at yourself in the mirror
What if I’m scared to make these changes?
It is NORMAL to be scared. As long as we live in a culture that continues to send the message that most bodies are bad, wrong, less than, etc., it is going to be scary and uncomfortable to pursue body acceptance. And there is always the risk of being on the receiving end of anti-fat bias, especially as size increases. Body image is a cultural problem caused by our societal anti-fat bias, not a problem of individuals. It shouldn’t be our responsibility to fix it, and yet, we only have control of ourselves (check out My Favorite Resources to Fight Weight Stigma and Improve Body Image).
And I would argue that it’s still really important and worth it. We only have one life and we deserve to take up space, not be at war with ourselves, love and be loved, and have the experiences we want to have (feeling sun and water on our bodies, having our lives documented in photos, enjoying food, moving because of how it makes our bodies feel, etc.). I hope I’m wrong, but I doubt our culture is going to do a 180 in my lifetime, and everyone deserves to have a good life in the body they have now and in the future, whatever it may look like.
It’s important to keep in mind that letting go of these behaviors is easier said than done. Rome was not built in a day. These problematic behaviors are done to help cope with body shame and anxiety are intended to make you feel better. And they do provide some immediate relief.
The problem is that this relief is very short term, and in the long run they make body image worse.
Conversely, when you start adding some of the behaviors that will eventually help you accept your body, it can be very difficult at first. For example, if you have avoided looking at yourself in the mirror for a long time, it can bring up feelings of shame and anxiety to start.
So when you reduce or stop doing these behaviors, or start some of the new behaviors, you will have to sit with some discomfort, but if you keep at it, the discomfort will gradually reduce. It will get much easier with practice. This work requires real courage, as any work facing fear does. In the meantime, you can use coping skills to help you manage any difficult feelings that may come up. Working with a size inclusive therapist specializing in body acceptance can help support you in making these changes and teach you coping skills. I will also cover coping skills that can help in future posts.
Start Therapy to Improve Body Image in Los Angeles:
If you are struggling in your relationship with your body, you aren’t the only one! It is extremely difficult to feel at peace with your body in a culture that is always telling you your body is too much and not enough at the same time. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If you are having trouble making the body image changes you want to on your own, working with a weight neutral therapist can help you develop a more peaceful and free relationship with your body. Start by following these steps:
Reach out for a consultation at Well Woman Psychology.
Meet with a therapist specializing in body image and making peace with your body.
Let go of body shame and anxiety and live the life you deserve in the body you have now.
About the Author:
Dr. Linda Baggett is the owner and licensed psychologist at Well Woman Psychology, a size-inclusive, Health at Every Size, therapy practice focused on serving women in California, Colorado, Illinois, New York, and Washington. Dr. Baggett helps people let go of shame and anxiety about their bodies and work to develop a more peaceful, accepting relationship with them. She also helps clients with trauma, relationship issues, pregnancy loss and miscarriage, infertility, perimenopause and menopause, perinatal and postpartum struggles.
Disclaimer: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only, is not a substitute for individual medical or mental health advice, and does not constitute a client-therapist relationship.